A beautiful and brilliant lady in her prime, graduated in flying colours from one of the best universities in town and got fantastic job offers. She did well for herself and eventually got a high paying job in an international corporation.
Shortly thereafter, she was lucky to find the love of her life. They fell in love at first sight and tied the knot of the forever journey together. She said “Yes” with the glittering hope of a happily-ever-after marriage.
Few months after the euphoria of the wedding, the crush, the click and the love at first sight magic gradually faded away and she no longer felt that special connection, and the emotions which she once felt magnetically had disappeared. Her desire for hugs, kisses and intimacy vanished as she could no longer stand the sight or presence of the one she once loved.
She unconsciously started comparing her marriage with that of her friends who constantly share the sweet sides of their own marriages with her, emphasizing how loving and amazing their partners were.
The social media too helped to hyped this perspective about the marriages of her friends, relatives and colleagues. This left her sad and disappointed. She felt that other people’s marriages are working and only hers was a failure.
Now, she desires to be married to someone else and her mind became full of grief, resentments, regrets, worry, hatred and the thoughts of extramarital affairs became irresistible.
DOES THIS STORY SOUNDS LIKE YOURS OR SOMEONE CLOSE TO YOU?
What do you think she did wrong?
What could she have done better?
What does she need to do now?
As you attempt to provide responses, kindly consider the following:
1. There is nothing like a happily-ever-after marriage as every marriage comes with its own challenges. It’s called ‘the marriage life cycle’. So, deal with your situation which is a point in the marriage cycle. It will not last forever.
2. There are edited versions of marital stories on social media and even your own family and friends might not tell you the ugly sides of their marriages. Know for sure that many (not all) posts or stories or impressions on social media are edited.
3. Any marriage that you see working today is because the couples involved worked on it. When the downside of your marriage appears, work on it. Every married couple has something they are dealing with; the truth is that they are trying to fix it. Therefore, fix yours.
4. There are dangers or red flags at the beginning of every relationship; make use of your head and not your heart in order to identify the signs. Counselling sessions can help you overcome this stage to prevent the challenges like in the story above.
5. Communication and self awareness are key ingredients highly required in the early stages of marriages.
Remember, when your marriage becomes overwhelming and frustrating; seek God through prayers and seek guidance through Counselling. Speaking to the right person can make a lot of difference.
Professional counsellors are available now and they are indeed saving marriages. The woman in the story above can be helped via counselling and our trained counsellors are always ready to help in situations like that and other related issues.